4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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