Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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