I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
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I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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