i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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