Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
