I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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