I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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