no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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