First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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