Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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