He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think I have vodka in my lungs
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize