Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
