walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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