hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You're so nebulous sometimes
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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