Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
