So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
