I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
