make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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