You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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