i think my tv is drunk
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
