I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
