i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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