doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Shame is for Republicans.
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