Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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