id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
