That's intense
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
