my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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