Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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