talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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