she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
