I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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