for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
