ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
