She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
40s are totally the cure
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
