I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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