I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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