Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
