Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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