Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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