I hate all girls vehemently.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Randomize