Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
