I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
