Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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