Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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