hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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