That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
