did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
