he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
