You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
