His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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