I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
