Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Success! We fucked roommates!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
