I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
