I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You pole danced in your parka.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize