Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
