So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.