It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
