The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
