2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
