Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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