I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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