you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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