big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
