I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize