My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
