I think my vagina is haunted
barbara walters just said penis...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize