there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
