i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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